Jello Biafra & The Melvins

“I should NOT have worn my Microsoft shirt.”

< — This image is by artist Chuck Sperry and can be found on various products from Alternative Tentacles Records (http://www.alternativetentacles.com).

New Years 2004, Kai and Dean took me to Nuemos to see Jello Biafra’s scrotum. Actually, the scrotum was sort of a bonus as the guy is a sloppy mooner. I didn’t know anything about Jello Biafra, but it turns out, I should NOT have worn my Microsoft shirt as he is a punk activist anti-corporate rock god. We were some of the first people in and I headed straight to the merch stand to buy something to cover my mistake before anyone decided to kick my ass. I pushed by some guy that looked like Sideshow Bob to get there, who Kai later pointed out to me as one of the members of the band. I think I said something dumb to him as I shoved past him in my Microsoft T-shirt, but I don’t remember exactly what. I was on a mission. I bought a shirt with an image of George bush wearing a thorny crown of oil wells that says “Bush Hates Me”. This is still my favorite shirt two years later.

The best part of this show was one of the opening bands–The Makers. Well, really it was Dean’s heckling of The Makers. These guys were all purple-rained out in their best blouses and high heeled boots. The lead singer, we’ll call him Prince, had a tambourine that he played relentlessly and with great drama. After a few songs, Dean (who had been drinking heavily), started yelling “more tambourine! More tambourine!” Dean can be very loud and Prince could totally hear him. Prince was getting pissed. This is my second favorite rock show moment (following “Fresh and New”).

Anyway, it was the perfect way to ring in the New Year, full of healthy hatred toward the president and thus full of optimism for the future of the country.